Shimmy Shimmy Ya

I didn't physically make this, but it came from my brain and may be the thing of which I'm most proud. Which probably says a lot about me. All design and street cred to Mark Damiano.

Jokes, Thoughts and Jokey Thoughts

For a more thorough view of dumbassery, check out my Twitter. Or, you know, Twitter in general.

Here are a few "hits" for folks who are in a hurry or those who don't care to spend 20 minutes sifting through all the misses. There are misses.

  • Of all the ways in which God works, I think the most mysterious is bumper stickers.

  • Every time two people kiss in the rain Nicholas Sparks gets a check for 65 cents.

  • You Got Served was not the courtroom drama I was hoping for.

  • Been sniffing magic markers all day. Still not a wizard. Pretty high, though.

  • Can you imagine the feeling of not disappointing your dentist?

  • How to become a writer in 1 easy step: Pretend people want to read what you have to say.

  • All the worst Facebook posts start with "I don't usually.”

  • "In return for providing healthcare to all, we will allow you to wear pajamas in public." -society, to doctors and nurses.

  • "And all this science, I don't understand.  It's just my job 5 days a week." -someone needs to fire Elton John.

  • How long would do you think it would take to lose all your Facebook friends if you responded "cool" to every single post?

Fantasy Football Punishment Calendar

We decided to make that last place finisher in my college fantasy football league star in a calendar. Turns out I'm the only person who knows photoshop in a league full of lawyers and real estate folk. I was asked not to put some of them on the forever machine so here's a taste.

The Keith and Aaron Show with Aaron and Keith!

"Aaron, I wouldn't put that in my portfolio if I were you." -Keith

What can I say? You love your children no matter how ugly they are. This one's no pageant winner. Boy do I love her, though.

Other Writing

For assorted writings of greater than but never equal to 140 characters, check out my Medium.

After you're done, check out the broadcast TV show Medium. Classic NBC procedural television.